I’ve seen various capital stewardship programs in churches as they seek to raise funds for a building project, pay off debt, etc.I listen to radio stations have share-a-thons as they raise operating capital seeking people to partner with them. Frequently, they try to relate to those they are soliciting funds from based on their financial situation. When they do, they alienate me and I presume many others. Here are some terminology they use and how I disconnect:

• Just $1/day – If I gave to every ministry, or need at just $1/day, it would soon add up to hundreds, maybe thousands a month. I’m sorry, but I can’t commit that many resources for all the causes that seek my funds. I live “paycheck to paycheck” and that dollar is critical to me to meet my expenses.
• The cost of one cup of coffee a day – I don’t pay for coffee. I only drink it because it is free at work. If they began to charge for it, I couldn’t afford it.
• The cost of one meal, or one time eating out. – Truth be told, I generally only eat one meal a day, which day should I not eat to support your cause?
• We “need” your help – In reality, you don’t, but I do. The difference, I don’t have the platform to seek those resources.

Yes, there are some who say give what you’re able, if you’re able, but the guilt laden, emotional pleas are still there. I once sat in a church where the lead pastor shared that he was going to sacrifice and give up one of his vacations and use that to contribute to the cause. I shook my head in disbelief at their disconnect with the membership. While that was a sacrifice for him, every summer, my vacation was used to serve at the summer camp, others used there’s to assist with the camp, VBS, a mission trip, etc. How could they give up a vacation when they give it every summer and fore-go any “vacation” of their own?

Now don’t get me wrong, I know that churches, radio stations, etc need to raise funds, but do they get so caught up in the business that they forget the people? Do churches see people as “giving units” and not sheep in the flock who may have needs? Are they willing to accept the “widow’s mite”?

I can hear many asking the question, wondering about my giving. Yes I give. Do I “tithe”? I honestly don’t know. How does one keep track of the tithe? That is a discussion for another time. Everything I have I acknowledge as God’s and I am generous in giving. I do not like using offering envelopes. People counting the offering often mentally track who gives, and how much, forming a perception of their walk with God. I had thought that I needed to make sure what I gave was tracked, so if people asked, they could see, but that was a wrong motivation.

Expectations are placed on people and how they should give, or what activities they should be a part of, no matter the cost. There are those in the church who cannot be involved in all of those activities. I am one of them. Truth be told… I carry excessive debt. I am not proud of that, but it is true. About 1/2 of it is from helping family in their need. Since I cannot speak of others, I will relate my story, though others in your church face the same struggles.

I was well on my way to paying off the debt, and then 2-1/2 years ago, my wife was let go by her employer. Many people rejoiced that she no longer had to work and assumed that we’d be okay financially, they never considered the financial burden this placed on me and our family’s finances. Now, instead of being able to pay-off debt and have a small surplus, I was struggling to make ends meet with little to no excess. People in the church continued to encourage us to do things that we simply can not afford because of this loss of income. Consequently, instead of paying down debt, it has grown as I struggle to meet basic needs (and pay on the debt). Yet if a need is expressed, my lack of wise financial planning is criticized with little or no understanding of the sacrifices already made and attempts to correct the situation.

I say this not for a “woe is me”, but hoping that as the church asks people to help them get out of debt so they can do more, that they be willing to give to help those in their membership get out of debt, or will they only offer classes to help them be more financially aware? How can a church ask their membership to help them get debt free from people who are slaves to debt themselves?

Yes, people can, and will, abuse the kindness. That is where a church needs to have discernment. They should know their members.

So, if I drop all the cash, a few coins, into the offering plate for a special offering, will it be accepted, or criticized for being so little? Will my sacrifice be accepted or mocked? Will the widow’s mite be accepted?